My Pumpkin Creation

HAPPY HALLOWEEN YA'LL

What Google Has to Say About the Human Experience

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grocery Store Musical

I'd be even more delighted to find out that there was no prep for the words at all!

Pumpkin Carving

these are some of my favorite pumpkins from across the internet

 

Tori Amos - Midwinter Graces Preview

Things I Wish I'd Invented

Twinkle

came across this song today
Twinkle by Erykah Badu
it's really one of those songs that just stops you whatever you're doing and startles you for a moment. especially the spoken word rant at the end.

http://www.mediafire.com/?1zzoddnz4yn

I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU THINGS AREN'T GOOD.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THINGS AREN'T GOOD!
WE KNOW THE AIR'S UNFIT TO BREATHE
AND OUR FOOD IS UNFIT TO EAT!
YOUNG PUNKS ARE RUNNING THE STREET
NO ONE KNOWS JUST WHAT TO DO
AND THERE'S NO END TO IT!
THE DOLLAR BUYS A PENNY'S WORTH!
BANKS ARE GOING UNDER
CONGRESS ARE KEEPING A GUN UNDER THE COUNTER!
WE SIT WATCHING OUR IDIOT BOXES
WHILE SOME LOCAL ANCHOR MAN
TELLS US THAT
TODAY WE'VE HAD 18 MURDERS AND 80 VIOLENT CRIMES
AS IF THAT WAS THE WAY THINGS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE!
WE KNOW TIMES ARE BAD!
WORSE THAN BAD!
PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!
ITS LIKE EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE
IS GOING UTTERLY MAD!
SO WE NEVER LEAVE OUR HOMES!
WE SIT IN OUR COMFY ABODES
WHILE THE WORLD IS GETTING SMALLER
AND WE SAY, COME ON!
AT LEAST LEAVE US ALONE IN OUR FAMILY ROOMS
LET ME HAVE MY MICROWAVE
AND FLATSCREEN
AND MY 20-INCH RIMS
AND I WON'T SAY ANYTHING!
JUST LEAVE US ALONE!!
WELL I'M NOT GONNA LEAVE YOU ALONE!!!
I WANT YOU TO GET ANGRY!!!!
I DON'T WANT YOU TO RIOT,
I DON'T WANT YOU TO PROTEST,
I DON'T WANT YOU TO WRITE YOUR SENATOR,
BECAUSE I WON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU TO TELL HIM!!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE RECCESSION,
AND THE INFLATION,
AND THE CRIME IN THE STREET!!
ALL I KNOW IS THAT YOU GOT TO GET MAD!!!
YOU'VE GOT TO SAY:
I'M A HUMAN BEING, DAMMIT!!!!!
MY LIFE HAS VALUE!!!!!!

Tonight, I'm going to finally see Chico's Angels.

The Cotton Club

I read this in MORTIFIED by Dan Nadelberg. I loved it so much I had to share it with the world. And by world I meand the 2 people who read my blog.

~~

The Cotton Club
by Lori Fowler

I grew up in a small town called Porterville. It's in between Fresno and Bakersfield, also known as the armpit of California. Growing up there I had few choices to fit in. I wasn't athletic enough for the track team or popular enough to be a cheerleader, and you don't want to hear me sing.

So I followed the family tradition and became a proud member of the Cotton Judging Team. The cotton judging team is part of FFA, or Future Farmers of America.

So consider this: I judged cotton and then was judged on how well i judged cotton. I was like Tom Cruise in TOP GUN--I was really good at what I did, but my methods scared those in charge. They feared me. Nobody tells me how to judge cotton. Nobody.

The following is from my freshman year of high school.


AUGUST 15th, 1997
So I joined the cotton judging team, and well I'm going to judge it. I mean after all, it is the fabric of our lives. My friends think I'm a dork, and well maybe I am, but I look at it this way. I am participating in high school, not just being a spectator.

AUGUST 21st, 1997
Ok, I felt like a complete idiot today. We took a practice test, and I got in an argument over the colors of cotton. The question read something like: What colors of cotton grow in the United States?
a) Cream
b) brown
c) blue
d) white
e) none of the above

I knew the obvious answer was white. But being the dumb ass that I am I chose E, because no one answer by itself was right, and being that it was an "easy" question I was the only one who got it "wrong." He asked me what I chose and I told him "E" and then he asked me why, and I told him that no one answer was right on its own. I then proceeded to tell him that some of the cotton that grows out on Ave 280 is kind of a cream color, and that my Uncle Coy grows brown cotton by the hundred acre in Missouri.

Then he asked where do they grow blue cotton? I told him that a couple universities including Fresno State had some genetically altered cotton. I then proceeded to put my foot in my mouth and say that they grow white cotton the most, and it is also the most desirable cotton at this time. I think this pissed him off. He then told me that he would like to see me after practice was over. I smiled and sat down. I was on a high, and didn't really catch the rest of what happened. Practice ended, and I proceeded to get chewed out for being a smartass. I knew I was right. I let him say his piece, but if there is a question on there like that then I will make a stink again.

SEPTEMBER 1st, 1997
I have my first actual competition this weekend. I'm a bit nervous, and I have to get my uniform together. I have to find a black skirt that goes to my knees, and black dress shoes that have no heel. I just got my FFA jacket and scarf in the mail yesterday. I really like the jacket. On the front it has my name on it, and on the back it has the national FFA emblem I can't wait till I get my green hand pin. I saw my uncle's FFA jacket, and he has all kinds of pins and medals. I guess we get pins for every conference we attend, and any accomplishment we make. It's kinda like the varsity jacket of farming. I have lettered in farming. Wonderful.

SEPTEMBER 3rd, 1997
Ok, we competed regionally today, and its nothing like I expected. These kids are really serious about the cotton, and I'm way out of my league. They come in and are like cotton judging machines. I hung out with Travis, as he is a sophomore, and already knows the ropes. He explained that you don't talk to people from other schools until the judging is over. He also told me to put my pre-notes in the inside pocket, so that when I'm taking notes, my terms aren't out for everyone to see. He also told me that you do not under any circumstances ask questions to another person judging.
We all look like dorks, and I think it's totally unfair that the guys get to wear pants. I wish I could wear pants. I wonder if them making women wear skirts is suppressing us in the organization. I guess I should be thankful they let me in at all, there was a time that girls were not even allowed to be in FFA. I wonder what went through their mind when they made this decision. "Well if girls want to farm then they will do it in skirts!" I think it's an unreasonable request. How would they feel if we made them farm in skirts? Boys suck. On a side note, our team won second place, and that was pretty cool. We got a plaque for the school, and Travis got high individual for Lint. That boy knows his stuff apparently.

SEPTEMBER 6th, 1997
We had a recap and go our judges' comments back. I talk too fast. That was said on every judge's sheet--that I talk too fast. Well I don't think I talk too fast, okay maybe if I'm nervous which I admit I was for Plants since it was my first official set of reasons, and then for Bolls because I couldn't decide what was my top pick. The top pair was so close, and I was sure I was missing something. Okay, so I give my reasons a little on the fast side. I'm just tryin' not to waste their time, I mean after all they are listening to a hundred set of reasons, and any way I can help I thought would be greatly appreciated. Well I was wrong.
Mr. Catano wants me to practice talking slow, so I got home, and my mom asked me how my day was, and I told her "it was fine, thanks for asking" really slowly, and then she yelled at me for being a smartass. I can't win.

SEPTEMBER 9th, 1997
I got into an argument with a judge last night when I was giving reasons for Bolls. The judge told me he was going to mark me down for not identifying correctly what sample three was infested with. I was shocked, and asked him if it wasn't the corn earworm what was it?! He said that it was the cotton bollworm. WHAT THE FUCK? They are the same thing. Same fucking worm. Well that's when I lost it. I told him that it was the same thing, just a different name.
He told me that when it's on cotton it's referred to as the cotton bollworm, and when it's on corn it's a corn earworm. I shot back what if the cotton grew across the street from corn, and the worms crossed the street? Then what would they be called? He told me to calm down. Did I? Nope i continued, that it doesn't matter what you call it, IT still ate the fucking sample (except I didn't say "fucking", i didn't think it would be appropriate). I then asked him that if we had one of the worms, and it was found in the middle of the road, between the corn and the cotton, what then would it be called? Would a corn earworm by any other name still eat cotton? I walked out, and was disqualified from the Boll competition.

SEPTEMBER 16th, 1997
I don't understand why we are practicing five days a week. I have a life outside of cotton. I have homework and stuff to do. I don't think they expect us to do anything except eat, breathe, and live cotton! I am going to start wearing anything but cotton. I know so much more about cotton than I ever thought I would, and apparently there is a lot more to learn. I don't care if the fibers are hollow stands of cellulose, or that cotton is related to okra. Who gives a shit?

SEPTEMBER 20th, 1997
We have our green-hand banquet coming up and I'm excited about it, all except getting my hand dyed. We have to stick our hand in this goopy stuff that dyes our hands up to our elbow green. I think this is a form of hazing, and I thought that was illegal. It also couldn't happen at a better time, we have a meet the next day, and I have to go with my hand green. Everyone will know I'm a freshman. I asked Mr. Catano if I could skip that part, and he told me no. I told him that I didn't think a green hand went well with the FFA uniform, and he told me that everyone will understand, as they all have done it at one time or another, and tradition this and tradition that. And I stopped listening.
Ok, so I had to go to the meet with a bright green hand. I tried everything to get it off. It doesn't wash off, and apparently they have spent several years perfecting the recipe so that it can't be washed off. I tried dish soap, mechanics hand cleaner, lye and vinegar. The only thing I didn't try is gasoline, because my mom wouldn't let me. I went in to shake the judges hands, and they couldn't help but laugh, but I think I got sympathy points for it. I placed second in plants and third in seeds. I'll take whatever I can get.

OCTOBER 3rd, 1997
We had another meet yesterday. The only one who didn't place was Tiffany. Hmm, lets see if she gets singled out in practice tomorrow. She should. She is just doing this to meet guys. Bitch.

OCTOBER 10, 1997
Okay, so I'm thinking about quitting this whole cotton-judging thing. I can't stand our coach. He picks on me, I swear. He thinks I don't know what I"m doing, which is true, but he doesn't need to call me on it. As long as I can make people believe that I know what I'm talking about, that's what matters, and at the last contest I got above 40 in all my sets of reasons, so what is he worrying about. I think he is just being a hard ass. I don't know if I can take this shit anymore. Fuck him. Fuck Cotton.

Contact

For (S)coops

Decisive Moment

Decisive Moment
Originally uploaded by iieeef

This is a picture I took in 1998 in Albuquerque, NM for a photography class i was taking. I lost it over the years, but I found it online in my old professor's website. Apparently he kept it all this time.

xx

Broken Hearts

Trafficking in Broken Hearts
a publicity still

may 8th - june 21st
celebration theatre
los angeles

for scoops
Click heeya

there's a personal parade of tragedy right outside your door

if you listen. you will hear the heartbreak.

We All Fall Short Of Our Ideals

We All Fall Short Of Our Ideals
Originally uploaded by iieeef

sometimesitgoesdark
sometimesitgoes l i g h t
lifetimeswecantry
tomakeupreasons w h y

nowsthetimeihearthemcall
becauseifyoucantjump
iwillmakeyoufall

saveyourselfbeyourownrocket
asailboatcanonlytakeyousofar

Shadow And The Wall

Shadow And The Wall
Originally uploaded by MykReeve

from MykReeve over at flickr
painting by SheOne

Tofu Mayonnaise

6 oz Silken Tofu
2 tbs Vegetable Oil
1 tsp Lemon Juice
2 tbs Vinegar
salt & pepper to taste

put in food processor and have at it